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Oi mate, gather round! I’m a violin maker, yeah, but today I’m Winston bloody Churchill, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout sexual-massage! We shall fight—on the beaches, in the parlors, with oily hands—against the dull grind of life! Picture this: hands sliding, strings of tension hummin’ like my violins, tuned to a lusty pitch. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s war on stiffness, a grand symphony of flesh!

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First off, I hit up Strada Principală for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong Romanian brew that kicks you awake like a double shot of espresso. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-ingredient latte. C’mon, man! It’s coffee, not a science experiment! I’m losing my patience, but whatever. I finally get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and boom! Instant happiness.

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