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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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So, I finally find a bench, plop down, and just breathe. I’m thinking about how Cosoveni is such a cool place. The mix of old and new, the vibe, the people. But then, I see this guy trying to sell flowers. He’s got this huge bouquet, and he’s yelling, “Buy flowers! Make your day better!” I’m like, “Dude, I just spilled coffee on myself. I need a miracle, not flowers!”

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