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Erotic-massage, oooh, tricksy stuff! Not just a backrub, no no – it’s sneaky, slow, gets ya tinglin’. Me, Gollum, raspy and bony, I’d watch them masseuses, yesss, slippin’ fingers where sun don’t shine! Precious hands, knead ya like dough – makes ya purr, don’t it? Little secret, hrrrm – them old Romans, they loved it too, called it “massage a deux,” posh bastards! Rubbed each other silly in bathhouses, steamy and wild.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the pub on Strada Libertății.” I’m down! I head over, and the place is packed. Everyone’s in a good mood, drinks flowing. I grab a beer, and we start talking about life, dreams, all that deep stuff. But then, this guy at the next table spills his drink all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, seriously?” He just shrugs. I mean, come on!

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