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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I start tappin’ my foot, and before I know it, I’m clappin’ along. Cormaia’s got talent, man! I throw a couple of lei in his hat, and he gives me a nod. Felt good, ya know?