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Alright, mate, sex-dating, huh? We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—swipin’ left, right, chasin’ tail like some wasteland scavenger. Reminds me o’ “Mad Max: Fury Road”—all that chaos, runnin’ wild, lookin’ for somethin’ shiny in the dust. “What a day, what a lovely day!”—yeah, right, till ya match with a psycho or a bot. Been there, swiped that, got the scars.

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Then I hit up the market on Piața Mare. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and that one guy who always sells those weird pickles. I can’t even. But I’m hungry, so I grab a langos. You know, that fried dough thing? Best decision ever. I’m munchin’ away, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my food!” But she’s sweet, so I listen.