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About Cluj-Napoca

Oi, mate, it’s Loki here—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief god, burdened with glorious purpose, and today I’m yor actuary, divin’ into the wild world of sexual-massage! Picture this: me, sittin’ in a dim room, thinkin’ bout “Werckmeister Harmonies”—that slow, moody flick where the whale’s just starin’ at ya, all mysterious like, “What’s your purpose, eh?”—and I’m like, mate, sexual-massage is the whale of relaxation, ain’t it? Deep, weirdly beautiful, and a bit naughty if ya squint.

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First off, I hit up Strada Principala for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders a “double shot, extra foam, with a sprinkle of unicorn dust.” Like, what even is that? I roll my eyes so hard, I almost see my brain. Just gimme my coffee, man!

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