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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies, even the masseuse. Says it’s “spiritual,” but her smirk’s screamin’ “tip me big, limp.” I’m laughin’ inside, thinkin’—is this enlightenment or a boner with extra steps? Probs both. Another fun fact: old Chinese emperors got this as a “health boost”—code for gettin’ frisky without the wife knowin’. History’s wild, man.
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But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. Like, come on, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my day. He’s all like, “Watch where you’re going!” I’m like, “Dude, you’re the one who crashed into me!” So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I just move on.
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