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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m like, “I’m in a meeting, man!” But he sends me a pic of a cat wearing a tiny hat. I lose it. I’m trying to hold back laughter while Mr. Popescu is going on about stocks. It’s a struggle, let me tell ya.