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But real talk—it ain’t just sexy shit. Erotic-massage got history, motherfucker! Ancient Greeks? Them horny bastards used it for warriors—loosen ‘em up before battle. Ain’t that wild? Surprised the hell outta me when I heard it. Thought it was all porn vibes, but nah, it’s legit! Still, I’m laughin’—imagine some dude in a toga, oiled up, moanin’ like, “Yeah, rub that spear arm!” Hilarious as fuck.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m like, “I’m in a meeting, man!” But he sends me a pic of a cat wearing a tiny hat. I lose it. I’m trying to hold back laughter while Mr. Popescu is going on about stocks. It’s a struggle, let me tell ya.