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I reckon it’s a thrill, though, yeah? Like defusin’ a bomb – “The wire! The wire!” – you’re chattin’ some bird, hopin’ she ain’t a catfish. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, will she ghost or bang? Proper adrenaline hit when it works. Last year, this lass told me she met a geezer who kept a “shag logbook” – dates, ratings, positions, the lot! Full-on nerd, but fair play, that’s dedication. Bet he’s wankin’ over pie charts now, the sad git.

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one that’s always buzzing? I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little joint, Café de la Strada. The barista, bless her heart, spills half my drink. Like, c’mon! I’m not made of money! But hey, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it chill, right?