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About Ploiesti

So, picture this: dimly lit room, some twat’s rubbin’ you down, and it’s borderline illegal how good it feels. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny bastards massaged athletes naked! Makes me wanna yell, “Idiot sandwich!” at ‘em—naked and oiled up? Sign me up, ya wanker! Got my first one in Thailand, cheap as chips, £10 for an hour. Felt like a king, but the lass—fuck me—she had hands like a fuckin’ gorilla! Surprised me, thought I’d die happy.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You forgot to pick up the bread!” Oh man, I totally did. Now I gotta squeeze that in. So, I’m juggling customers, sparkly shoes, and bread runs.