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Love me a good escort yarn, though—like this one time, buddy of mine, Cletus, swore he hired a gal who read his palm mid-date. Said she told him he’d die at 87, happy as a pig in mud. Freaked him out so bad he quit smokin’! I was rollin’, thinkin’, “Hell, that’s worth the fifty bucks!” Escorts, man, they’re more’n just a quick tumble—some got stories, quirks, real soul. “These are the exquisite ones,” Eve’d whisper, and I’d nod, spillin’ my beer.

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the market, tryin’ to shake off the bad vibes. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery hits me. Mmm, that’s the stuff! I grab a loaf, and the baker, old dude named Ion, gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, you’re the real MVP.”

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