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Weird story—buddy of mine, total noob, tried sexual-massage on his girl. Slipped, fell off the bed—cracked me up, dumbass! “Grace, you lack grace,” I’d say, quoting that flick, sarcastic as hell. Movie’s bleak, sure, but that line fits—clumsy moves kill the mood, yo.

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Finally, I break free and make it to the market on Strada Morii. It’s a whole vibe there. Fresh produce, people haggling, and the smell of baked goods. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts tellin’ me about her secret recipe for sarmale. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted tomatoes!” But she’s relentless. I love her spirit, though.

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