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Heya, pal! D’oh! Me, Homer Simpson, y’know, The Watchman now! Gotta spill my guts bout sexual-massage. Picture this – sweaty hands, dim lights, some chick rubbin’ ya down. Woo-hoo! Sounds like a dream, right? But lemme tell ya, I seen stuff. Watched “The Gleaners and I” – that Agnès Varda flick’s my jam! “I’m not poor, I’m thrifty,” she says. Thrifty, huh? Sexual-massage ain’t cheap, tho!

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After that, I’m feelin’ good again. I decide to hit up the local bakery. Best place in town, hands down. I grab a cozonac, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, and I see a group of kids playin’ football in the street. They’re havin’ the time of their lives, and I can’t help but smile.

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