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So, picture dis—I’m watchin’ *The Hurt Locker*, right? Dat line, “The rush of battle is a potent drug,” hits me hard. Erotic-massage? Same deal, comrade! You’re lyin’ dere, all tense, den—BOOM—hands workin’ magic, muscles screamin’, but good screamin’, ya know? Like defusin’ a bomb, but sexy. I got mad once, tho—some schmuck charged me 100 bucks for a “special,” and it was just lotion and awkward silence. Pfft, rip-off! Coulda punched his dumb face, but nah, Gru’s classy.

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Finally, I break free and make it to the market on Strada Morii. It’s a whole vibe there. Fresh produce, people haggling, and the smell of baked goods. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts tellin’ me about her secret recipe for sarmale. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted tomatoes!” But she’s relentless. I love her spirit, though.

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