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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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Then, I head to a client meeting at some fancy office on Strada Mihai Viteazul. I’m all pumped, ready to drop some financial wisdom. But guess what? My client is late. Like, really late. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, trying to look busy. I mean, come on! I could’ve been enjoying a nice stroll by the Bistrița River instead of waiting here.

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