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Oh, and get this – some people use it for, like, tantric stuff, connecting souls or whatever. I’m, like, rolling my eyes, but also, kinda curious. Like, is it magic? No, but it feels like it sometimes! In “Margaret,” they talk about chaos, and, yeah, sexual-massage can be chaotic if you don’t communicate. “You’re so selfish,” they’d say in the movie, and, like, true! You gotta talk, or it’s just weird rubbing.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head to the market on Strada Libertății. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over veggies and stuff. I’m just trying to grab some fresh tomatoes. But this old lady, bless her heart, she’s got a grip like a vice! She’s holding onto the last ripe tomato like it’s the Holy Grail. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I just need one!”