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Aye, me precious, listen up! I’m a fisherman, see, and I’m talkin’ bout escort – not them fancy ladies, nah, the fish, the slimy escort fish! We hates it! Sneaky lil’ buggers, swimmin’ in schools, thinkin’ they’re all grand. Caught a mess of ‘em once, off the coast, stinkin’ up me boat somethin’ fierce. “The slow knife cuts deepest,” like in me favorite flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James* – them escorts ain’t flashy, but they’ll ruin yer day quiet-like.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head to the market on Strada Libertății. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over veggies and stuff. I’m just trying to grab some fresh tomatoes. But this old lady, bless her heart, she’s got a grip like a vice! She’s holding onto the last ripe tomato like it’s the Holy Grail. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I just need one!”