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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m a merchandiser, y’know, slingin’ goods, makin’ displays pop. Escort’s kinda like that—sellin’ a vibe, right? But way fancier, ha! I picture ‘em struttin’, all classy-like, dolled up, makin’ jaws drop. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—that quiet swagger Ennis had, y’know? “I can’t quit you” energy, but with heels and a paycheck!

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Later, we grab some street food. Best decision ever! I get a langos, and it’s greasy and delicious. I’m munching away, and Ion’s telling me about his latest “life crisis.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re 25. Chill!” But he’s all dramatic, waving his hands around. Classic Ion.