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What gets me tho—clients think they’re special. “She really likes me,” they whine. Nope. It’s a job, moron. “There’s no name for what I am,” Scarlett’s alien says—escorts probly feel that too. Not human to some, just a service. Kinda sad, huh? But they’re laughin to the bank, so who cares?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks by. She’s got a dog, and the dog’s just staring at me. I’m like, “What’s up, pup?” And she goes, “He thinks you’re weird.” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the weird tree guy.”