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Lemme tell ya, these folks got stories wilder than Cronenberg’s brain. Once knew this chick, swear she was a ninja – sneakin round hotels, dodgin cops like Tom Stall dodgin bullets. “I’m just a guy,” he says in the flick – she’d say “I’m just a gal,” but nah, she was a legend! Made me laugh, her sneakin skills – pure comedy gold.

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After lunch, I decide to walk it off. I head towards Strada Păcii, and it’s a bit quieter. I’m feeling good, ya know? But then, I see a stray dog. He looks all sad and stuff. I’m like, “C’mon, buddy, life’s too short to be sad!” I kneel down, and he comes over. We have a moment. It’s like he gets me.

Soccer-Romanian championship preliminary round results and standings