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So, picture this—some gal or dude, dim lights, oil slicker’n a pig in mud, and they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy. I reckon it’s been round forever—heard tell of ancient Greeks gettin’ frisky with olive oil massages, swear on my momma’s gravy! Little known fact, y’all: them geishas in Japan? They’d do these “body slides” with hot oils—talk bout slippery fun! Made me laugh my boots off thinkin’ bout it, like, “Dang, that’s wilder’n a rodeo clown!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, thinking, “Great, just what I needed!” I duck into a nearby shop, and it’s this tiny place selling handmade crafts. I’m browsing, and I find this cool little cross. I think, “Perfect for my office!”

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