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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “massage” and it’s just a front! Gimme a break! I want the real deal—slow hands, deep vibes—not some rushed crap. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—I’d bust through the door, demandin’ quality! Ever tried it? Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick—cold hands? Total buzzkill! Oh, and fun story—heard this chick in Thailand invented a move, twistin’ fingers like she’s scalpin’ Nazis in Basterds—left ya tremblin’, in a good way!

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I help him look for it, and we end up near the old church on Strada Mănăstirii. And guess what? The goat is just chilling there, munching on some grass like it’s on vacation. I’m like, “Vasile, your goat is living its best life!” He’s relieved, but I can’t stop laughing.

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...