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What gets me hyped? The tech of it—those pressure points? Mapped tighter than a Starlink constellation. Happy as hell when they hit that spot—ya know, the one that’s like, “I am a free man!”—boom, Chiwetel Ejiofor vibes from the flick. But man, I got pissed once—dude was half-assin’ it, like a Boring Company intern on day one. I’m like, bro, commit or GTFO, this ain’t a Tesla recall. Surprised me how some spots—uh, lower quadrant—can zap ya awake faster than a triple espresso. Meme alert: “When she says ‘just a massage’ but now you’re broke and callin’ her ‘senpai.’”

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First off, I decide to head into town. I’m thinking, “Hey, let’s grab some fresh bread from the market on Strada Principală.” You know, the one that’s always packed with people? So I’m strutting down the street, feeling all proud with my shepherd’s stick, and boom! I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really? A rock? In the middle of the street?”

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...