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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-schmancy paid dates—chaotic absurdity, baby! Like, imagine this: you’re vibin’, needin’ some company, and BOOM, you hire an escort. Not the car, nah, the *person*. Straight outta some wild movie script, I swear. My fave flick, *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*—you know it, Ang Lee’s masterpiece from 2000—got me thinkin’. Escorts are like them warriors, man, “a sword by your side,” all mysterious and slick, floatin’ through life with secrets.

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Anyway, I get to the market, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, shouting, laughing, and I’m just trying to get my bread. I finally find the baker, old man Ion. He’s got this huge smile, and I’m like, “Gimme that bread, man!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over a whole basket of apples. Apples everywhere! I’m dodging apples like I’m in some weird fruit dodgeball game.

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...