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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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So, we’re chatting, and I’m feeling good. But then, I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a missing goat. I’m thinking, “Not my problem,” but then I see it’s my neighbor, Vasile. He’s losing his mind! I mean, come on, it’s just a goat! But Vasile? He treats that goat like it’s his child.

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...