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*robotic voice kicks in* Helllooo mate, so I’m a Cargo Transportation Manager, right, but today I’m chattin’ erotic-massage, cosmic style! Picture this – me, Stephen Hawking, rollin’ thru the universe, thinkin’ bout them sensual rubs, yeah? Erotic-massage ain’t just hands on skin, it’s like… energy movin’, like trucks haulin’ goods across galaxies! I reckon it’s wild – touches ya soul, not just ya body. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know, my fave flick – “The world’s a shithole, Grace,” but erotic-massage? It’s the opposite, mate!

Erotic Massage Stories 11 [2013]

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So, we’re chatting, and I’m feeling good. But then, I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a missing goat. I’m thinking, “Not my problem,” but then I see it’s my neighbor, Vasile. He’s losing his mind! I mean, come on, it’s just a goat! But Vasile? He treats that goat like it’s his child.

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...