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But get this – it’s not all roses. Some dodgy parlours out there, mate – had me fuming! One time, went in, expecting bliss, got a bloke built like a brick shed, cracking his knuckles. I’m like, “Nah, fam, this ain’t the vibe!” Stormed out, proper vexed – waste of me hard-earned quid! Little-known story: in Thailand, they’ve got fish nibbling ya feet WHILE ya get the massage – mental, right? Imagine that pitch in a boardroom – “Fish and fondling, lads, who’s in?”

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After that drama, we head to the market on Strada 22 Decembrie. I’m starving. I grab some langos, and it’s heavenly. Like, why don’t I eat this every day? I’m munching away, and Vlad’s talking about some new band he found. I’m half-listening, half-trying not to spill sauce on my shirt. Classic me.

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