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Real talk, tho—this one time, I matched this chick, profile all classy, but she sends me a PDF—straight-up *menu* of what she’s into. I’m talkin’ kinks listed like it’s a damn restaurant. Had me dyin’, like, “Is this allowed?” Little-known fact: sex-dating apps got secret codes. “420 friendly” ain’t just weed—it’s a freak flag sometimes. Caught me off guard, fam—had to Google that shit.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

After that drama, we head to the market on Strada 22 Decembrie. I’m starving. I grab some langos, and it’s heavenly. Like, why don’t I eat this every day? I’m munching away, and Vlad’s talking about some new band he found. I’m half-listening, half-trying not to spill sauce on my shirt. Classic me.

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