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But real talk, it ain’t all roses. Some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t here for dat!” Pissed me right off—felt like Frank in da movie, hidin’ his true self. “I’m not like you,” he says—same vibe, I ain’t no perv, just want me back sorted! Still, when it’s good, it’s bangin’. Dis one time, I swear, her hands was like magic—had me floatin’, happier than a pig in shit. Surprised me, innit—didn’t expect to feel so chill.

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But then, of course, the universe had to throw a curveball. I was walking back, feeling all happy and stuff, when I saw a stray dog. Poor thing looked so sad. I couldn’t just walk by. So, I stopped and tried to pet it. But it growled! I was like, “Whoa, chill, buddy! I’m not here to hurt you!”

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