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Dogville’s all bout power plays, right? Erotic-massage flips that—YOU’RE the one in charge, or at least ya should be. “I’m not your servant,” Grace’d hiss, but a good masseuse? They make ya feel like a king—or queen, whatever floats ya boat! I’d kill for that vibe on my webcam sets, but half my models can’t even spell “sensual.” Drives me nuts! Still, when it’s done right—hot damn, it’s like a secret weapon for stress. “You’re all dogs,” Lars’d say, but this? This is heaven in a cesspit world!

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Finally, I get it done. She’s happy, I’m relieved. But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. A pigeon—yeah, a freakin’ pigeon—decides my head is the perfect landing spot. I’m standing there, flabbergasted, like, “Really? This is how my day’s gonna go?” I swear, I almost lost it.

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