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I got into it once, right? This chick, pro as hell, hands like a damn ninja—soft but firm, knew every spot. Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—boom—she charged me triple! Pissed me off, man, greed’s good but not *that* good! I was like, “Lady, this ain’t Wall Street!” Still, I paid—worth it. Little-known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these massages with jade rollers—fancy, right? Bet they quoted *The Assassin* too: “He moves like the wind.” That’s the vibe—smooth, deadly, sexy.

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Then, I decided to grab lunch at that little bistro on Strada Libertății. The food? Amazing! I ordered sarmale, and it was like a hug in a bowl. But the waiter? He was super slow. I mean, I could’ve cooked it myself in the time he took. I was getting hangry, you know?

New scandal in the Romanian health sector: Psychiatrists accused of using patients as guinea pigs