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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Strada 1 Decembrie. The vibe is nice, people are out, kids are playing. I see this group of teens playing football, and I’m like, “Man, I used to be that cool.” But then I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m on the ground, and they’re all laughing. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Ugh, why can’t I be graceful?”

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