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So, picture this – ya boy Ali G, gettin’ a sexual-massage, yeah? Some fit bird’s got her hands all over, slidin’ like she’s tryna unlock me secrets. I’m like, “Oh, alas! I’m trapped in me own body!” – straight “Oldboy” vibes, fam. Little-known fact, right – them Thai lot, they been doin’ this mad twisty version for centuries, bendin’ ya like a pretzel, but sexy-like. Blew me mind, that did! Thought they was just about pad thai, innit?

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After that, the meeting wraps up, and Mr. Important is all grateful. I’m just relieved. We step outside, and I’m thinking, “Finally, some fresh air.” But nope! The fire juggler is outside, still going strong. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Calarasi, right?

Culture Center and Alley of Classical Writers in Calarasi renovated