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Best part? Vhen it vorks! Met dis one babe, legs for days, ve click – next ting, ve’re tangled up like hippies in da movie. “You smell like patchouli,” I say, and she laugh – instant sparks! Worst part? Ghosting. Ugh, I hate dat! One minute u texting, “Vhen we meet?” – next, poof, gone! Like, “Vhere’d she go? Bigfoot snatch her?” Drives me nuts.

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Then, we headed back home, and I thought, “Finally, some peace.” But nope! The neighbor’s dog starts barking like crazy. I’m like, “Can’t a babysitter catch a break?”

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