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Weird thing—some parlors sketchy, shady vibes. Saw one with neon lights, “massage” in quotes—ha! Prolly more than rubbin’, ya feel me? But real talk, legit ones? Gold. Helps ya sleep, heals the bod—science says so! Mr. T exaggerates, sure, but this ain’t no lie—feels like flyin’. “You’ll be glad to be alive,” like *Brooklyn* vibes, post-massage glow! I’m tellin’ ya, try it, fool—don’t be stiff!

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So, I get to the church, and it’s packed. Like, what’s going on? It’s a Tuesday! Turns out, some local kids decided to throw a surprise baptism. I mean, who does that? But hey, I’m all for it. Kids are cute, right? But then, I see the parents. They’re stressed, running around like headless chickens. I’m like, “Chill, folks! It’s just water!”