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Oh, and the smells—lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever—takes it next level. Surprised me how much that kicks in, like fuel for the soul. But yo, some parlors? Shady as hell. Had a spot once, neon sign buzzin’, guy looked like a War Boy reject—noped out quick. “I live, I die, I live again!”—nah, I’m good, bruh.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills grape juice all over the altar. I’m like, “Great, now I gotta clean that up.” But the kid’s crying, and I’m trying to be all pastoral and comforting. “It’s okay, buddy! It’s just juice!” But inside, I’m like, “Why, God, why?”