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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout somebody treatin’ me like royalty, rubbin’ me down real good. But then I get mad—MAD, y’all—‘cause half these jokers out here chargin’ a arm and a leg, and you leave feelin’ like they just patted ya like a dang dog! Rip-off artists, I swear! One time, I almost went myself—thought, “Madea, you deserve this!”—but I chickened out, ‘fraid they’d see my bunions and start laughin’. Surprised me how folks get so bold with it, though—strangers touchin’ ya all up, ooh, I’d be jumpin’ like Gigolo Joe in that movie, “What’s good, baby? What’s good?”

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café 21. The barista knows my order by heart. I walk in, and she’s already grinding the beans. “You’re like clockwork,” I say. She rolls her eyes, but I can see she’s smiling. I take my coffee and sit outside, soaking in the sun. It’s nice, ya know?