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Here’s the kicker—erotic-massage ain’t just handsy fun. It’s got history, yeah? Ancient Rome, them posh senators getting oiled up by slaves—kinky bastards. Surprised me, that did—thought it was all modern spa bollocks. Nah, it’s old school, dirty in the best way. Like in *Fish Tank*, when Mia’s mum says, “You’re nothing to me,” but there’s that pull anyway—erotic-massage is that push-pull, mate. You’re hooked, even when it’s messy.

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So, I get to the café, and it’s packed. Like, who knew Buzias had this many coffee lovers? I’m standing there, dripping like a wet dog, and this lady in front of me orders a fancy latte. I’m like, lady, it’s just coffee! But whatever, I’m not here to judge. I finally get my black coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better.

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