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Humor me, right? Sexual-massage sounds like a bad rom-com plot. “Ooh, let me rub your back and, oops, feelings!” Spare me. But apparently, it’s big in Japan, too. Called something else, but same idea. Relaxing, they say. Happy endings, they imply. I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. Still, I gotta admit, the history’s kinda cool. Ancient Greeks, too. Thought it was just Olympics and togas. Nope, massages for, uh, “vitality.” Whatever that means.

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After that, I decide to hike up to the Bucegi Mountains. The view from up there is insane! Like, you can see everything. But, OMG, the trail was packed. I’m dodging families, dogs, and this one guy who thought he was a mountain goat. Dude was literally climbing rocks like he was born for it. I’m just trying to not trip over my own feet.

A 19-year-old woman was attacked and killed by a bear