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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!
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Get to the lab, and boom! My assistant, Ana, is freaking out. “The samples! They’re all mixed up!” I’m like, “What do you mean mixed up?!” Turns out, she spilled coffee all over the data sheets. Classic Ana. I mean, who needs data when you have caffeine, right? I could’ve lost it, but I just laughed. It’s just coffee, after all.
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