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Anyway, she’s kneadin’ my back, slidin’ lower, and I’m like, “Hey, hey, boundaries, lady!” But also, “Don’t stop!” Neurotic rant time: I’m sweatin’, overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a perv now? What if Cheryl finds out? Oh, wait, we’re divorced—screw it! Felt like Betty in “Mulholland Drive,” all innocent, then—pow!—dark and twisted. “I’m in love with this girl!”—me, yellin’ that in my head about the masseuse. Ridiculous!

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First of all, it’s perfectly normal when genital touch is done with consent (permission or agreement) of both parties: the client and the massage practitioner. It usually means that this .

First off, I’m just getting into my groove, cutting some pelts, when this lady storms in. I mean, she’s like a tornado in heels. “I need a coat, like, yesterday!” she yells. I’m like, lady, chill! I’m not a magician! But she’s got this wild look in her eyes, and I can’t say no. So, I’m measuring her up, and she’s all over the place. “Make it fluffy! Make it fabulous!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m a furrier, not a fairy godmother!”

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