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Oh, and get this – some escorts, yeah, they’d tattoo their rates on their thighs, proper cheeky. Saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink – talk about in yer face! Dunno why, but I kinda respect the hustle, y’know? Still, if one crossed me, I’d have her head on a spike faster than you can say “Pray she don’t get pregnant!” – *Spring Breakers* vibes, all chaotic and mental. So yeah, escorts – mad, messy, and a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’. Now sod off, I need more wine.

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So, I start the auction, and it’s wild. I’m calling out prices, and this one dude, I swear, he’s got a bidding paddle like it’s a magic wand. He’s raising it for everything! “Five hundred! Seven hundred! A thousand!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! You trying to buy the whole city?” But he’s all in, and I’m just trying to keep up.