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Aight, so check it—sex-datin’ be like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?” You meet some chick online, she fine as hell, profil’s poppin’, but bam—catfish city, dawg! Pissed me off first time that happened, straight up. Thought I was linkin’ with a dime, ended up with a dud. Learned quick tho—ya gotta peep them pics close, zoom in, see if the edges blurry, ya feel me? Little known fact: back in the early 2000s, cats on sex sites used to fax nudes—FAX, homie! Ain’t that a trip? Slow as fuck, but freaky.

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Then, I head to the lake. It’s called Lacul Breaza, and it’s gorgeous. But man, the wind was crazy! I’m setting up my gear, and this gust nearly knocks me over. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a dive or a wrestling match?”