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I reckon it’s like Monty facin’ his last night—ya want it slow, meanin’ful. “This life came so close to never happenin’,” he says, an’ dang if that don’t hit deep. Erotic-massage is like that—teasin’ ya, makin’ ya feel alive ‘fore the end. I’d say it’s half heaven, half pure mischief. Prolly why I love it—an’ hate how I ain’t graceful enough to give one! I’d spill oil everywhere, laughin’ my big hair off.

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But then, I get tangled in some weeds. Like, come on! I’m not here for a plant wrestling match! I’m flailing around, trying to get free. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “This is not how I imagined my day!”