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Oh, and get this—there’s this chick, rumor says she escorted for a mob boss, ended up runnin’ his books! Talk about climbin’ the ladder, heh! I’d be all, “D’oh! Why didn’t I think of that?” ‘Cept I’d probly screw it up, spill beer on the ledger. Still, escort’s got layers, man—like Boonmee seein’ his past lives, these folks got tales you’d never guess. “I see everything,” I’d mutter, starin’ at ‘em, wonderin’ what’s behind the glitz.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I was soaked in seconds. I ran for cover under a tree, but it was like the universe was laughing at me. I was stuck there, watching everyone else run around, slipping and sliding. It was hilarious!