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Happy bit? When I find a rare gem—someone who ain’t a total muppet. Had this one lass, proper fit, we chatted about *Finding Nemo*—she loved Dory’s daft arse too. Made me grin, rare as that is. But then—boom—most times it’s back to creeps askin’ for nudes before “hello.” Angers me somethin’ fierce—where’s the respect, eh? I’d flay ‘em alive if I could, leave ‘em for the crows.

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But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s some ancient scroll. I can’t help it. I’m like, “Hey, you guys need a GPS or somethin’?” They laugh, and I feel like a hero for a sec. But then, they ask me for directions to Poiana Brașov. I’m like, “Uh, just take a left at the big statue and keep going.” I mean, who doesn’t know that?

The airport in Brașov has reached a record number of passengers, but it does not have a restaurant