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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit” – nah, 5’2” and wheezin’. Makes me wanna scream, “Filthy liars!” Like them bleak days in “The Turin Horse”, no truth left. But ya keep swipin’, hopin’. Addictive, innit? We swears! Can’t stop, even if it’s rubbish.

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada Principala. You know, the main drag. It’s like the heartbeat of the town. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude selling fresh plums. I mean, who doesn’t love plums, right? So I grab a couple, and he’s like, “These are the best in the county!” I’m like, “Sure, buddy, whatever.” But dang, they were juicy! Made my morning, for real.