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But then—boom—anger hits. Some punters treat ‘em like dirt, don’t even brush before a gig. Disgustin’, right? Makes me wanna yell, “This is not the way!” Like in *A History of Violence*—quiet life, then chaos. Escorts got that too—calm chats, then dodgy blokes. One told me—get this—bloke paid her in fake gold teeth once! Swear, nearly spat my tea laughin’. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, escorts sometimes doubled as tooth-pullers. Wild, eh? No NHS then, just pluckin’ molars for a quid.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m all ears. Turns out, he got kicked outta the gym for dropping weights. Like, who even does that? I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

AP PHOTOS: Cream of tattoos on show at Romanian palace