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But yo, it pisses me off too. These schmucks out here lyin’—sayin’ they’re six-foot when they’re barely five. Or the dames with filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis?” I’m over here yellin’, “Be yourself, bitches!”—straight outta Spring Breakers, ya feel me? Honesty’s dead, and I’m freakin’ tired of it. One time, I heard this guy braggin’—met a girl, smashed, then found out she’s bangin’ half the block. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—roll the dice, hope ya don’t catch somethin’.

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Then, I bump into my high school crush. Total surprise! We chat for a bit, and I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m freaking out. She’s still as cute as ever. We exchange numbers, and I’m like, “Did that just happen?”

Romania, Bulgaria and Serbia meet in a weekend of eclectic music at the Balkan Jazz Summer Sessions